The Thought Process

Guts

Mon, 28 Dec 2009 12:36:13 GMT

Enables you to do the right thing, speak your mind and be yourself.

Not many people have it and yet, they try real hard to be all macho and strong in front of everyone.

If you had guts, you would be strong enough to face me and tell me what I did wrongly, face to face, not behind the keyboard.
If you had guts, you wouldn't have to pretend to be something you're not because you wouldn't be afraid of what other people think.

I just can't accept it. Maybe if you'd come out of the shadows, I'd respect you that much more.

And by the way, I think it takes a lot of guts to appear weak in front of others.

Opportunity Cost

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 17:01:25 GMT

I'd like to refresh my knowledge on this economics term because today I've learnt quite how much it was being applied to my life without me realising.

Opportunity cost is the next best alternative forgone and dictionary.com summarises it to be 'a choice between two options that must be made. It would be an easy decision if you knew the end outcome however, the risk that you could achieve greater "benefits" (be they monetary or otherwise) with another option is the opportunity cost.'

I've been taken by life into a road which is very different from my peers. They've been taken to somewhere where they feel immense pride in what they do, something considered 'manly'. Not only that, they've been blessed with some extra monetary rewards at the end of their path. At the current phase where my peers and I are face to face, I am facing discrimination. They laugh at me because they feel that my field is 2nd class.

But they're mistaken, because I was lucky to be the victor of opportunity cost. Those who laugh now, really don't understand what they are laughing about.

Since I've been walking on this other path, the opportunity cost is walking the other way. I lose out on 'pride', some monetary rewards and i won't be discriminated against. However, the benefits have proven to be more rewarding. Instead of all that superficial gain, I've been blessed with learning how to look at the bigger picture. Whatever my peers have done, I have not, but I have seen and I understand to a deeper level compared to them. I've learnt to consider both the people and the equipment in an organisation. I've learnt to plan meticulously, down to the very last detail and to ensure everything is well utilised. I've learnt how to organise, making sure that time is well spent. Best, I know everything about everyone.

While I may have lost out along those lines, but the skills that I have picked up will serve me well, if not even better than those who were the victims of opportunity cost. Even though I may appear to lose out now, my boy, I have gained more than you have gained in the last 9 months.

To All The Doubters: This Is It

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 14:22:36 GMT

He was not sloppy, nor did his voice waiver.
He was more than capable of putting on a stellar concert.

Life is unfair, isn't it?
People judge you even before you have the chance to prove them wrong
And you might never even have the chance to.
When he finally proved them wrong, he's gone,
Never to return on stage.
Cause remember before he died, people despised him and now,
Now he achieves the icon status he should have retained though the years.

So to all the doubters:

Don't judge a book before you flip the cover open.
Don't deduce a conclusion before you examine the situation.
Though it's too late now,
Those 50 sold out concerts won't happen.
Our loss.

True Colours

Sat, 03 Oct 2009 06:26:01 GMT

Tell a Lie
Hide the Truth

Time won't turn back
Feelings might never change
But I won't hide my feelings ever again.

Dirty Green Nails

Sun, 06 Sep 2009 09:56:00 GMT

Picks up his gear
And he puts it on
He's going again,
Somewhere he doesn't belong.

His hands in the dirt,
Sweat on his face,
Cold and damp clothes
And one nasty heartache.

Dig into the ground,
Fighting pound for pound.
Face Stained green,
If only they've seen.

They spit on his face,
They question his guts.
They tell to him straight
'Your best isn't enough'.

He looks at his hands
Questions why he is here
But all that he sees
Are his dirty green nails.

'It's for you' his heart says
But how can it be?
If it's really for you
Is that all you would say?

He keeps saying he'll change the world
But he can't even clean up his dirty green nails...

Next November

Sun, 30 Aug 2009 08:33:43 GMT

That's Where I Want To Be...

'I Need You, I Love You'

Sun, 16 Aug 2009 10:51:43 GMT

Every week when I'm in church, I kneel and pray, 'I need you, I love you.'
For grace everyday, I end off by saying 'I need you, I love you.'

It's not watered down I hope. Please know that I'm telling you that because I really mean it. Don't leave me, ok, because this is just so much more difficult than i expected it to be.

You're reading all this too right?
Just call me back when you're free cause I kinda miss the old days when we had so much time and I didn't know.
Yea, you were the best and you still are.

I'm trying hard to call you everyday, it's hard. Sometimes I even forget to but I'm trying to fix that.

Either way, keep in touch, ok?

Hey...

Fri, 14 Aug 2009 13:36:05 GMT

This is a quote from st Jerome: 'A fat stomach never breeds fine thoughts.'

Should I suppose the opposite is true?

The Grey Area

Fri, 07 Aug 2009 10:43:54 GMT

In the real world, there are always demands that exist. These demands have a stand on what is acceptable and it is usually followed strictly. However, there's a special place between what is black and white: Grey. While understanding that the grey area is neither fully correct nor can one write it off as wrong, this grey area usually exist in the demands that we face daily. People often term this grey area as a 'loophole', and rightfully so.

The grey area is often misunderstood. Loopholes are a test, they are tests against the system which exist and this isn't wrong. People tend to deem the grey area as ground they dare not step upon because at any moment, the ice could crack. I believe that people should start to learn that we must continually look into different ways of doing things and take courage in this.
Because frankly, does it really matter if your table is made of metal or of wood as long as the table serves its function by being a place where you place things on? Does it matter if you knock off at 3:30pm or at 5pm if you have already finished all of your work by that time?

Yes, it matters.

But it is a matter of choice; ultimately, we chose whether we want our table to be made of wood or of metal.

Choice governs what we want to do and I believe that your choice is governed by your understanding and maturity. How will your actions affect another person if you go into the grey area and that's ethics.
And if ethics doesn't affect your decision to enter the grey area, I say go ahead. Go dive right in.

People often miss out on a lot because they are rigid and stubborn to change. They miss out on efficiency, they miss out on fun. Sometimes, stepping into the grey area can change things. There isn't anything wrong with an experiment - unless it has ethical consequences.

Stop being rigid, people.
There's more to life than being stuck in something called 'standards' because more is done and less is achieved.
Is that what satisfies you?

The Opposite Of Love

Sat, 01 Aug 2009 08:11:10 GMT

Contrary to popular belief, the answer to the statement is not hate - it's indifference.

Indifference: (ĭn-dĭf'ər-əns) lack of interest or concern.

There is still an element of concern when we hate, for whatever reason. We are actually bothered by their actions and motives, but why?
Love hasn't ended.
That person's very presence still lives within us and we can't come to terms that someone that we love has hurt us.

Indifference is the opposite of love. That's when we are total strangers and not a single part of me feels for the person.

Fear

Sun, 26 Jul 2009 10:14:20 GMT

What is fear?

It is the lack of knowledge.

The fact that we don't know what happens next, what we're getting ourselves into puts us in that spot.
I'll always remember the days when I was a little kid, looking out the window and being fearful that a monster would capture me when I'm asleep. Childish fear? Yes, it was - it was a lack of knowledge that such monsters don't exist.

Confidence is when you know exactly what is coming next.
In football, the bigger teams usually play with more confidence than the smaller teams cause they have full knowledge that they're going to win. The small teams get frightened because they don't know how much humiliation they will suffer, how much they will disappoint or if they might even be able to steal something from the match.

Facts: humans have a very strange tendency to rely on them. Nothing seems to add up without the facts because without them, we fear.

But what do we do then, if we are unable to prove that something is true?
Have you ever questioned if your parents were your biological parents? Probably not. That's because of faith. We believe that it's true and we instill confidence in ourselves.

Our culture is a culture of fear. Marketers constantly use fear to sell their products and people buy into that fear. They tweet and facebook because they fear they'll lose their friends. They shop for expensive clothes because they fear people will look down on them. They do outrageous things because they fear that they'll be social outcasts.

Faith on the other hand, allows us to have confidence that we don't need to conform to society without all that happening to us.

Man of little faith - go do what you must.

Best Efforts Are Often Not Enough

Sun, 19 Jul 2009 08:54:58 GMT

Last night he cried.
He wanted to throw in the towel.
It was more than he wanted to handle.
All he wants is some balance.

He dedicated this to all of you,
he tries his best every week,
he works hard.

And yet, he can't do it all even though he wants to.
It's hard to compromise but he must.

He's trying his best.
Please try to see that too.

Believe in me,
Believe in me.
With all my heart and mind
I'll make everything all right.

Standing Still In Public Transport...

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 06:38:38 GMT

As our local money making superhero took the MRT recently, he looked up. He noticed a big screen which used to display the waiting time for the train. It was something different, it was a local comedian prancing about to his new jingle..

'Before you sit down, look around.
Before you go in, let them out.
When you board, move to the back.
A happy journey starts like that.'

He laughed in his heart because he wondered why people needed to be reminded of these simple gestures.
Yet, when he boarded the train, he stood still by the opposite door and looked on.
Disappointed, he let out a sigh and in his own cynical mind, he reminded himself...

EMPATHY
But that doesn't exist in society anymore...

Remember Their Story

Fri, 10 Jul 2009 18:45:47 GMT

To remember him as the incredible wrestler or the guy who killed his family?

To remember him as the great performer or the weirdo?

Maybe the world would be a better place if we remembered the good side of people?
But it's so hard to forget the wrongs they've committed, even though they were my heroes.

When both of them passed on, I was devastated because they didn't leave with a clean slate and I knew it myself.

But I know it and it's the unavoidable truth - I myself won't leave with a clean slate and neither would you.
How do you want people to remember YOU?

EMPATHY
But that doesn't exist in society anymore...

Even Though I Didn't Participate...

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 03:47:02 GMT

... I think I've learnt the most valuable lesson that could be learnt from the whole trip.

'Before doing anything, think about how that action would affect the next guy.
Because that guy is just as, if not more important than me.'

He too has someone waiting home for him,
He too is dear to his loved ones.
Would I dare be responsible for hurting them too?

Only The Brave Know

Sun, 21 Jun 2009 07:32:11 GMT

Drama happened.
The type of drama that comes about because there are two groups of people: those who understand and those who just didn't get it.

Something very superficial to most people meant the world to me.

But how were others to know, they wouldn't. They didn't go through the tough times with me and there wouldn't actually be a cause for celebration. Not even a simple text message came to provide encouragement.

I understand how fortunate I've been to have people understand how important the occasion was. It's not everyday I get to celebrate victory over a grueling period, nor have I ever gotten a better opportunity to thank those who have stuck by me all the way. And for that, it meant the world.

Empathy.

I hope this provides a clear explanation for what has happened and I'd like to thank everybody for having empathy at the end. You all made the occasion live up to its importance and I am very grateful.

We Knew, Didn't We?

Sat, 30 May 2009 05:13:26 GMT

If It Doesn't Kill You...

Fri, 29 May 2009 09:29:32 GMT

It only makes you stronger, they say.

And through my eighteen or so years of living, I've been very blessed to have been through the hard times because all those unmentionable stories from the past have shaped my life today.

Nobody would be happy if they didn't know how sadness felt,
nobody would be grateful if they've never lost anything dear to them,
nobody would be loving if they've never been hurt by others before.

Cause after the storm, we look back and realise how important that phase was. Ultimately, we learn from it and we look beyond it. We see that there are better things or things that we've overlooked. When we make that realisation, we grow up.

God probably hears prayers like 'Please change my life, it's too difficult for me.' Or 'Please make him or her change, they're the idiots who are causing this mess.'

But we never change ourselves and hence, we'll never grow up.

Time

Sat, 23 May 2009 09:12:09 GMT

Time: my most valuable asset.

But I still feel like I'm wasting my time.

Looking forward to the end of the activity at the start of the activity
The end of the day at the start of the day
The end of the course at the start of the course
The end of this whole nightmare at the start of it.

Maybe if there was a way we could go to every activity and say 'This is going to be good'
And if we wake up every morning saying 'Today's going to be a wonderful day'
And if we start a course saying 'This course is wonderful in every way', things would be so much more bearable.

Unfortunately, I'm not that optimistic yet; even though most people would say that be able to look forward to the end is optimistic enough.

Priority

Fri, 10 Apr 2009 15:08:43 GMT

After spending several months with totally random people, I've come to realise why everybody is different. I mean all of us have our own habits and way of doing things. This is cause we tend to have different priorities.

My old buddy used to take forever to fall in cause he prioritised his bearings over being punctual.
My new buddy wakes up at we hours of the morning to wash his clothes because he prioritises having clean clothes over his sleep.
In case you're wondering, I noticed all this because I'm the exact opposite.

I'd rather be early and look horrible.
I'd rather be dirty and be rested.
Does that make me a dirty person? Well, yes, it does. But I have my reasons for doing so. I'd prefer to be fully rested and be able to give my best the next day, to be able to be alert the next day.
Most people will just say 'You're dirty, end of story.' Little do they know that there is a story behind it, there is a reason behind the action.

Wouldn't that make it unfair to judge people by their actions?
If I ever needed to judge, I'd judge by their priorities.

Last Words

Fri, 10 Apr 2009 00:13:26 GMT

I remember picking up a pencil nearly 3 years ago, writing this little piece down. I forgot all about it until recently.

Last Words

Oh Father, why have you forsaken me?
Abba father, why have you forsaken me?
And placed this cup of wine with poison in my hands
To do your heavenly plan

What have they done, they have disfigured me
I'm nothing but a worm, cast not your sight on me
They've mocked me with a crown with thorns upon my head
They all just want me dead

Oh Mother, dear, would you remember me?
I was your only son but don't you pity me
This man will be your son and he will take you home
You'll never be alone

I still have one last cup to drink
It's still not finished, I am weak
I have to muster all my strength
The Father must complete his plan
And I will put this to an end
Father, vent not your anger on these men

I thirst...

I drank this cup of wine you gave me
It is finished, let them see
the time has come, I am returning
Back to you oh heavenly king
Father, open your heavenly gates
And show in those to me they have betrayed

Oh Father, why have you forsaken me?
Abba father, why have you forsaken me?
And placed this cup of wine with poison in my hands
To do your heavenly plan

It is complete; can I go back to you?
Oh Father till the end, you know I have been true
Grant me this final cry for I cannot resist
This world I'll always miss

And to all who I have saved
You all shall see my face,
You'll see my face

Justifying My Actions

Sun, 22 Mar 2009 08:44:38 GMT

Ok, so John screwed up again, they'll say.

But John thinks of it differently cause he's intelligent and deep. Yes, he is. At least he thinks that he's nearly there. He thinks about his actions before he executes them.
He did it to protect himself from himself.
He did it to protect you from him.
He did it to protect all of us from him, cause he can be a monster sometimes. Hence causing him to fire his warning shot into the sky.

He doesn't really believe in falling into the same trap twice. In fact, this would be his third time. He just felt the need to react to it. And the way he reacted to it was well planned out, so that minimal damage would be done to all parties. Given the opportunity to go back in time, would he do it all over again? The answer would be 'yes', plain and simple.

He couldn't bear to see everything unfold once again. He had seen it twice too many, he's done with it. In the past, he'd have said 'never mind them, I don't really care.' But he thought about it. Not anymore, no more. He's going to try to change the conclusion of the story, and he thinks he did his job this time.

There was always another way to do it. He thought about it, there were many other ways he could have put it. He could have been nice and let it happen all over again. Alternatively, he could have been mean and hurt other people. But he decided to be firm, something like how a teacher would warn his student against a particular mistake, and in a nice way too.

The discussion is officially over. John would not like to hear anything regarding this topic ever again.
At the end of this situation, he'd like to thank all parties for being understanding.

Choice

Thu, 19 Mar 2009 18:40:05 GMT

I remember learning probability in Elementary Mathematics when I was in secondary school. Something my teacher said once helped me to never make the same mistake again.

'When you have one choice, you have no choice'

Well...
Yea, makes sense, right?

Like sometimes life isn't about choice?
I didn't get to choose my family, my background. Worse, I didn't get to choose my current occupation. And I really don't like protecting the nation.

The thing is, there are two choices after this 'one choice' situation: to like it, or to hate it.
Which in turn affects the next step of the equation: whether we do well or not.

If I were a mathematician, I'd propose this probability tree, where x denotes the 'no choice situation'.

I guess I've got to learn to like these situations. Won't that make life a lot easier?

The Action Figure

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 16:26:34 GMT

We used to be a team
An unstoppable force
We'd take on the bad guys

And we'd win, of course

You used to hold me high
And pretend that we could fly
But when you flapped your own wings I'm left
Looking at the sky

Now you're so far away from me
Why don't we play anymore?
You never came back with an answer
Sometimes I wish I was tall

Sitting alone on a shelf
Looking at you play
With all the other toys but me
I think I should go my own way

But I never want to leave
Cause I love my team mate so
Even if someone would come and
Try and take me to go

But you're so far away from me
Why don't we play anymore?
You never came back with an answer
Sometimes I wish I was tall

Cause if I'm tall
I'd say 'I love you'
And we could be real friends

That Word

Tue, 10 Mar 2009 13:28:22 GMT

I feel that the word 'love' is too loosely used in our time.

There's so much more to that word than just liking something or someone
More than admiration
More than feelings...

Love is a transfer of oneself to another, literally.
When a part of you becomes part of the other person.

A word with so much at stake shouldn't be so loosely used.

So take back all the 'I love you's before you hurt somebody.